Where is the hickey?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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