I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
These tits shall not be calmed
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
