I could make wine with my vomit
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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