so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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