all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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