The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
