we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
