i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
