i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
