He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
