So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Randomize
