I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
