I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
