Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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