Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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