When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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