I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
