I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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