How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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