Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
