You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
