we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Alive.
So much puke
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
