My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize