No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
