You surviving the open bar?
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i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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