i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
