Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
