Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
