Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize