i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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