have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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