You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Dignity is for republicans.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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