Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
