I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
