I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
