It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
