why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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