I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
