Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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