Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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