how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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