I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
