I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
