Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
