laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
