some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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