Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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