Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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