i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
