OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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