the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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