We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
