**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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