Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
