I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
