I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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