after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
