Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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