Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
