please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
