Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I showed him my bush... on skype.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
