All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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