I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize